I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
