so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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