You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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