So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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