omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
