Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
