I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
