its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
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