shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
