You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
