I wish i was in the wii world.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
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