theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
