I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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