love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
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