Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
