And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
