I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
