I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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