Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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