He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
My bed is full of blood and feathers
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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