Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
