is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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