I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
