I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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