I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
