Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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