i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I think my vagina is haunted
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Randomize
