We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Randomize
