You made me cry and you don't even care
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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