I'm gonna have a badass scar
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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