Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Randomize
