I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
