Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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