i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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