I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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