Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize