I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
