Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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