Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
