so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Randomize
