He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
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