New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
