How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
