when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
