I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
