Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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