Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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