so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
