sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
