Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
As shirtless as possible
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
