The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
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