Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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