I want you more than these girls want KFC
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
