Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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