so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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