i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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