I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
