i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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