Three words: puerto rican gang bang
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
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