Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
