Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
