Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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