Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
