Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
