it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
