Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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